The burden of being observant and kind

There is incredible burden that comes with being simultaneously observant and kind.

For starters, you're always noticing great ways to help others.
For another, you notice all the time how very often, you're the only one.

I'd argue that this combination can be exhausting. Ones who share such a burden think, "I'm always the only one noticing the old lady with the groceries and helping her cross the street," "How come I'm the only one who thinks to send the thank you note?" "Why am I the only one who understands how freaking loud that ridiculous Dyson air blower is in this bathroom and some people who might have sensitive ears like I don't know maybe this infant in the room might be bothered if I use it to dry my hands for an exceptionally long period of time?"

First of all, take a deep breath.  If this is you, you aren't the only one. I swear! There are tons of people like you! And there is hope!

I've deduced that there are four types of people in these possibility-of-helping-another-if-only-someone-was-paying-attention situations:

1. Kind, but not observant.
2. Kind and observant.
3. Unkind, but observant.
4. Unkind and unobservant. 

Situations:

Type 1: A pregnant lady gets onto a crowded subway. This person, seated, does not observe the pregnant lady's situation and therefore doesn't think to give this lady his or her seat. (Perhaps someone taps her on the shoulder and points out the pregnant lady. Then this kind person will give up his or her seat for the pregnant lady.) I believe there are lot of people who just don't pay attention, no matter how big their hearts are.

Type 2: A pregnant lady gets onto a crowded subway. This person, seated, notices the struggle and invites the pregnant lady to take his or her seat.

Type 3: A pregnant lady gets onto a crowded subway. This person, seated, notices, but does not want to give up the seat to anyone, as getting a seat is hard. Perhaps person type three will justify not giving up his or her seat because they had to stand the last time, or perhaps they let an old lady sit there once before. It's someone else's turn to give it up. Being unkind also doesn't mean you're conniving, it just means you don't want to go out of your way to do nice things for strangers.

Type 4: A pregnant lady gets onto a crowded subway. This person doesn't notice because they're too busy pickpocketing the old blind man in front of her.

I'd also like to point out the bystander effect. Perhaps we see someone in need of help and assume someone is coming for them. For example, a car blinking on the side of the highway. We assume, "they've got a tow coming" or "someone else will help." I'd argue that the widespread use of cell phones has helped millions of Americans escape the perils of a flat tire or a dead battery, but it has also created an alternative scapegoat. I don't think it's right to assume "someone is coming," however, I do see its justification.

It's fair to say that these four people "types" are fluid. For example, you may be an observant person, but if you're always looking at your phone or stop practicing your observation skills, you become less observant.

There is the possibility a person started out as kind and observant, and over time, became a little hardened by noticing general disregard all of the time. This is the burden I'm talking about. It is exhausting to constantly notice how shitty people treat each other. It can lead to some serious cynicism.

On the other hand, you may be very kind, and decide you want to help people more often, but you rarely know how. Being alert and on the lookout for situations where you can lend a hand helps. Keeping the thought on your mind gives you a greater awareness of those around you.

Being a thoughtful and observant person has its burden.

Yesterday as I was walking up to Starbucks, I noticed there were two entrances: One was a double door — the kind where you walk through a small room to get to the actual entrance — the other went straight into the Starbucks. I noticed the doors and I thought to myself, "hmm, it's furiously cold out. I should use the double door because then people won't get as bad of a chill."

I posted up in Starbucks and spent the next hour being blown in the face by one hundred people using the single door. Some even threw open the door and it didn't shut behind them.  I am one of four people who used the double door during the entire hour I was there. Even the Starbucks workers didn't think to put a sign up that says please use other door because it's cold.

It's not that people are bad, or trying to make everyone in the Starbucks cold, it's that they just aren't making this observation and applying it to possibilities for the future. Kind people walked through the single Starbucks door, obviously. Unless you're a supervillian, I really doubt any conniving ass holes walked through the door thinking "I'm going to make everybody freeze!" Unlike me — the freak of nature —  people just didn't think about it at all.

Nonetheless, If you're one of these people — the thoughtful, observant and kind — it is imperative that you not give up hope.  Surround yourself with the kind of people who take pleasure in the amazing people around them. Surround yourself with the kind of people who would give their seat to the pregnant lady on the subway. 

In the end, I would rather be the kind of person who thinks about doing nice things and does it, than someone who thinks about it and doesn't?

I'd rather pull up close in traffic so the person behind me isn't stuck in an intersection, even though nobody will ever know that's why I'm pulling up.

I'd rather see my neighbors garbage bin rolling down the hill and put it back in its place, even though they will never know it wasn't properly put back by the garbage collectors.

I'd rather notice the little boy with the armful of books who's about to walk into the library behind me and push the wheelchair button . (I also have an empathy theory that refers to how a kid in high school pushed my books out of my hands and pushed me on the floor  (I know wtf?!) but this blog is getting long.)

I believe that cynicism is a horrible and contagious disease of the heart. I don't think it does any good for anyone.

Subsequently, I believe doing nice things for people is good for your heart. It makes you feel good, even if nobody ever sees. Because you see.


I am not good at distracting myself on a train, so I will likely remain observant until my brain fails me from observing. I don't see avoiding observation skills to be a choice. If I'm going to be observant for the long haul, then I'm stuck deciding between two options: Am I going to be unkind or am I going to be kind? Am I going to open my heart to the places it needs to spread or am I going to avoid eye contact and cynically justify the shear numbers of how little helping one person could make on the world?

The answer is obvious.

Twenty four things I have learned in the last year.

I started this tradition on my 20th birthday. I remember writing it in my 12'x18'6" dorm room (yes, super long and skinny, but suspiciously perfect for dancing). I excitedly shared bits and pieces of my thoughts with my bubbly roommate Kelley as I wrote. I'm not the same person I was when I wrote my 20 things, and I'm thankful for these written ideas, as not often do people have such a concrete list of their priorities and newly gained insight each year. I didn't think this list was going to be a thing, but I think after four times, something becomes an official thing. I just made up that rule, but it's a good one.

I couldn't have guessed all of the things that would come and go in my life in just four short years. Since the autumn that I wrote my 20 things blog, I've fallen out with people I really cared about, failed miserably at the job search, and cried in my father's arms about what the hell I'm suppose to do with my life. I suffered with the rest of the world in watching greed, disagreement and intolerance turn into anger, resentment, violence and terror. I held the hands of friends gone to hell and back, watched them battle depression, addiction and pain. I gave the eulogy at my grandfather's funeral. I laid my childhood friend to rest, and I grieved over the losses of four people younger than me in just one year. I experienced incredible anxiety and stress over my future and the thought of losing my friends and family.

I was reminded of life's brevity, yes, but I also learned of life's incredible worth. I experienced sloppy, wet bucketfuls of joy in my life every single day. I fell in love and learned what healthy meant. I traveled across the world, surprised myself, and spent a year nannying for the most amazing two boys and awesome family. I stood next to my cousin as she committed her life to her best friend, became closer with my brother when he moved 2,507 miles across the country, and surprised a sister a long drive away. I hit the jackpot in the job search, dove down to shipwrecks at the bottom of the ocean, and celebrated and cultivated incredible friendships — some brand new, some twenty years old. I met and lived with my soul sister and two black cats, moved to a new city, started a new career, found my inner athlete. I restored my faith in humanity through long runs, coffee dates and StoryCorps tears.

At the end of it all, the world still awaits. I celebrate the fact that I am still so young, and I thank the people (and animals) who have made me who I am. Because I'd be a super boring, lonely person without their conversation, advice and gooey warm hugs.

Internet, I give you this year's 24 things I've learned in the last year:

1. People who don't think dogs are worth the shedding don't understand dogs.

2. Joy doesn't just happen to certain people by chance. Joyful is a state of mind that is deliberately chosen and cultivated.

3. Being a writer actually means being a reader who occasionally strings words together. 

4. There are better uses of your time in line than on your phone. Look up people!

5. Or how about I just forego the phone altogether? Forget your phone sometimes. Spend time with people who won't be on theirs the whole time you're with them. And hang out with people who will tell you to put yours down. Those are the kinds of people who get it.

6. Surround yourself with giants. I am currently working with brilliant minds! The things I have learned in my short time at this company have taught me so much. And it's because I'm surrounded by people who, not only are incredibly intelligent, but who have included me in on the conversation. They've brought me into meetings and interviews and let me write for big projects from the start. Surround yourself with people who are going to help you grow, and who won't squander your ideas or make you feel small.

7. Watching childhood friends grow into real, functioning and amazing people is a very wonderful thing. 

8. I used to think lateness had to do with a person's character... and then I moved to a city where parking was impossible. 

9. Be the friend who pays for the coffee. 

10. Be the 'first responder friend'. Be the friend who is going to answer the phone, grab the pot of coffee, and head over at 2AM when there's been a eureka! moment, a bad break up, or somebody needed to eat Lay's and french onion dip with.

11. Be the friend who doesn't ask questions when your best friend borrows your favorite T-shirt and then holds onto it for a little over four months because you know she's enjoying wearing it all of the time. Of course this is really just because you have like 45 articles of her clothing still and don't want to have to give them back.

12. Surely you can't be serious. Nothing should be taken too seriously. When we take things too seriously, we get offended. When we get offended, we become sour and bitter. And as I've aged, I've found I don't like either of those flavors.

13. Don't call me Surely.

14. Writing requires a lot of vulnerability. When you write, you're basically putting your panties on a line for people to critique. When you write about yourself, it's like taking those panties, turning them inside out and showing everybody their skid marks. You have to expect people to forget that those are your mistakes, and thank them for pointing out your poo.

15. There are some kinds of people who don't understand that they have the option to write their own books, make their own maps. Show these people that this choice exists. Give them a taste of what it's like to create something.

16. Your online persona is not an accurate representation of your life, your relationships or the quality of either.

17. Cynicism is a disease. It's a contagious, contagious disease that I have decided to quarantine myself from.

18. Good stories need to be told. People crave real, powerful and beautiful stories. 

19. You can learn a lot about a person's soul by what they think is funny. 

20. "Once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can’t go back to being normal; you can’t go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time." - Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

21. The older you get, the more you look forward to Thanksgiving Day with family than what is under the tree Christmas morning.

22. Make every day extraordinary. Days fall together when you let monotony take hold. Weeks go by quicker when you do the same thing every day. Don't live for the two days tacked on to the end of the week. Do extraordinary things with every day of your life. You'll remember them.

23. Life is about giving someone else your last piece of gum. 

24. I am by no means wise, I am by every mean still learning. 

See: 
20 Things
21 Things
23 Things

People Observation: Cat videos killed the curiosity

My next door neighbor is a professor Emeritus of Physics. He's an incredible man who I could chat with all day. On the subject of our college town's academic quality, I asked him what he notices with students these days compared to those he's taught in the past. He gave me one answer: they just don't have any curiosity.

He teaches physics. His students are studying to be scientists. But they never seem to care anymore to know the fascinating answers we are finding to some of the universe's biggest questions.

My neighbor's observation isn't unaccompanied. I've noticed this myself.

I babysat for a wonderful little boy who has a creative brain that I loved to pick. While many people find Right Brains to be the math experts, I would argue the most successful problem solvers are the ones who can best mix that Left Brain creativity with that Right Brain critical thinking to find unique and new routes for finding solutions. This boy I babysat is one of those people. His math homework was kind of a mess, and he loved to use one of those extra smooth and inky purple pens to write his answers (which drove me kind of nuts). His answers were always right, but he always seemed to find them in ways I never understood. One day, he brought home a couple of wrong answers on a math quiz. He was very discouraged. He said his teacher told him he wasn't good at fractions. I was livid. What kind of third grade teacher tells an eight year old he isn't GOOD at something? Then, as I looked through his answers, I found she was the wrong one. The questions had been ambiguous, and when the boy attempted to ask for clarification, he was shot down. Only because this boy had misinterpreted a quiz question was he told he was incorrect, and even worse, he was told he wasn't good at it.

We have all had similar experiences: When I was in second grade I used to get really excited about the books we were reading. If I read ahead I would get in trouble. (Sidenote: My brother Sean used to read ahead to parts in books with swear words -- obviously 5th grade swear words like hell and ass-- so he could volunteer to read out loud during the raunchy parts of class novels)

Eventually this getting in trouble for our curiosity takes a toll on us. We get sick of our excitement about all of our questions. We're told our questions are stupid. So we stop asking. Eventually, the only questions we ever ask are, "is this going to be on the test?"

As a young person who was insanely curious in college, I felt this kind of punishment all of the time. See my story about getting a C- in a class I took for fun.

But I have found that the rewards for my curiosities always outweigh any kind of "punishment" I'd ever receive for them. Rewards like further understanding of people who aren't like me (or, as it turns out, end up being more like me than I think). Rewards like empathy. Rewards like meeting new people and noticing the little nuances and paradoxes of every day life.

I've talked about New Years Resolutions before. They're an easy way for me to make a drastic change towards becoming the person I believe a person should be. I like to do drastic things (mostly so I can brag about them but also) to test myself and learn something along the way. This year, my resolution was that I wasn't allowed to look at my phone while I'm in a line.

You see, people are looking at there phones everywhere they go. Every single line you've stood in in the last three years has been loaded with phone lookers. And I hate it. I absolutely LOATHE it. People constantly checking their screens are missing some incredible stuff.

We miss the eye contact with strangers at a coffee shop that turns into the observation that they, too, visit the same coffee shop every morning, which maybe then becomes a friendship. We miss the opportunity to ask people about their days. We miss noticing the puppy walking down the street. We miss real, genuine smiles to and from strangers that over the course of an entire day can change a person's emotional wellbeing. The things I notice that others don't notice baffles me. The things I've noticed and enjoyed since this year's No Phones While Waiting rule baffle me.

While you watch that video of that (probably adorable) kitty on your phone, you're missing your own cat's short nine lives. While you're letting your child sit on that tablet at the dinner table, you're missing an incredible conversation about his life -- he is missing an incredible interaction with his family.

Here's the truth: Nothing on your phone will ever be more remarkable than the person sitting in front of you.

I would like to challenge you to tickle your curiosity muscle every now and then. I would rather have friends who don't know but want to know than friends who know everything. I would rather have friends who can find answers with me than friends who tell me all the answers. (Chances are if you think you know everything you're probably wrong because there is no possible way that you do.) Read ahead and find the swear words. Get distracted with a new hobby. Use your freaking imagination.

There is nothing more attractive than a person who has curiosity.

Put down your phones and step away from your screens. Because they don't have the answers. Go explore the world.

Twenty three things I've learned in the last year

Sometimes I feel like I am in the final part of a movie trailer—the part where they just montage a bunch of great scenes together at hyper speed with epic music. It's the end of the trailer where they have ten seconds left to really hook you, really make you turn to the person in the jumbo movie-theater seat next to you and say, "that looks good."

The protagonist is running herself to exhaustion with something clearly on her mind, and in the next second she's laughing with whom you can tell are her very close friends, the quirky kind of characters that make movies interesting. In the next quick transition they’re climbing a mountain, arms stretched out and screaming across open hills.  Next, there's a quick shot to a mentoring character telling the protagonist something deep, then the protagonist ignoring advice she will eventually learn and thank mentor for later. Jump cut to a passionate cry scene. Jump cut to the protagonist finally standing up to the antagonist. Jump cut to her kissing an attractive actor who you  probably recognize from another film. Jump cut to them fighting. Running for each other. Lessons being learned. Hopeful music. Crying. Laughing. Loving.

"That looks good."

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Every year I vaingloriously celebrate my birthday with a list of the things I've learned in the last year, an item on the list for each year of my life. (See 20 things or the 21 things).

One day this list is going to be too long to put in one post. But for now, I give you Erin's Lessons of the Year, Volume 23:

1.  Anything you need to know about living life well you can learn from a dog. Loyalty. Forgiveness. Unconditional Love. Pure Joy. Excitement about the same exact meal every single day.

2. Make your life’s story a good one.  I love reading the life stories of real people. Not people like John F. Kennedy or Marilyn Monroe or John F. Kennedy with Marilyn Monroe, but about normal people you may have never heard of (until their awesome biogs came out) but who did something great because they decided to live a good life story (I hope to some day write these kinds of stories).  If somebody was going to write a biography of your life, first, would somebody want to write a biography of your life? Secondly, would people want to read it? Thirdly, would people tell their friends to read it too because it was a great life?

3. Contrary to popular belief, everything does not happen for a reason. This is just an excuse somebody who didn't want to take responsibility made up once, regardless of whatever higher power or galactic karma force you believe in, there are some things that just happen. People go against the will of the world all of the time. (In Christianity, it's called sin, and it's essentially doing the opposite of God's intention for humanity.) This might piss some people off. But there are really shitty people who do things to other people and animals and the environment. And then there's really good people who have really shitty things happen to them like cancer, or car accidents or ugly children. You can, however, change how you react to them. Taking the blame off of "everything happens for a reason" helps you cope with the crap and find real reason in your life. 

4. Show gratitude. Enough said. 

5. Never apologize for being yourself. So many times, women especially, apologize for really stupid and uncontrollable things. Apologize to me when you’re late. Don’t apologize to me when you’re a brunette or introverted or gay.

6. Care about the environment.  This isn't a political issue. It’s an 'I like breathing' issue.

7. Put down your phone. Tell me about your life dammit. Tweet about it later. 

8. Thank your lucky stars for a lot of conveniences the US has to offer. Europe liked charging my poor behind for everything it could possible charge it for: toilets, tap water, places to sit. I held onto my waste for hours looking for a bathroom on multiple occasions. I sometimes like to give the US a lot of crap, pun intended, for its regressive ways, but I'm thankful that I can find a toilet while I'm traveling.

9. When you meet someone who has enough patience to deal with all of your nuttiness, don't test it all of the time.  Thanks boyfriend for still liking me when I bawl at this commercial and for watching Parenthood with me every week. 

10. Get excited about how much you've changed. "You've changed" doesn't have to have such a bad connotation. Not changing means no growth. And that's kind of lame. Let yourself be proud of your growth. And don't be embarrassed that you used to wear this or dated that giant goober. Just be glad you've come that far. Because he really was a giant goober. 

11. Don't get jealous as people your age are having babies and diamond rings and husbands and really fancy jobs.  Sometimes I need to remind myself that I don't want to get married any time soon because I have a ginormous pile of debt and even more ginormous personal goals and my entire life to do those things. I have to remember that I chose a career that probably isn't going to make me a lot of money, but that I would rather have no money than not do it. My life is pretty damn good.  Looking at pictures of my friends' cute babies is sufficient for now.

12. Social media interaction does not build real relationships. Foster a real friendship. Not a spoon-fed Facebook one. 

13. Anger and violence are not the solution to anger and violence. For example, I really really hate rape culture. I'm a passionate feminist who is done with letting things slide. But screaming the F word at rape culture down your town's main street isn't the way to solve a horrible horrible problem. The F word is an inherently violent word.  It makes you only look irrational and crazy. And the people who you want to hear your message will only roll their eyes. I don't know what the solution is. And I know taking back the night is a very empowering experience that I really love. I know something needs to be done. And I am glad people are trying everything they can. Maybe on my 24th birthday I'll have a solution to this. 

14. Being a nice person doesn't always get you the job, but it's a heck of a lot less lonely. After being the longest and hardest working employee at my job in college, I applied for a Supervisor position. They told me I didn’t get the job because I didn’t dress well enough for the interview. It later came out that I didn’t get the job because I was too nice and they worried I wouldn't do the job well (har har). I will never let my niceness be a bad thing. I will never regret being nice because someone who was intimidated by my courage to treat people well tried to hold me back.  Instead, I skipped over the supervisor position into a higher-up managing level position, won the award for “Friendliest” for three years straight, and won the Butch Hill Customer Service Award for my kindness to all other employees and patrons at my job. While a few people had tried to discourage me from continuing to work hard and with integrity, I owe them a ton of gratitude for being one of the most motivating factors in my career. They will never be able to carry my kindness-covered briefcase. People are going to try to hold you back because they fear your potential to one day out-do them. This leads me to #15:

15. Surround yourself with giants. Surround yourself with people who are going to inspire you, push you and never tell you that you can't do something. Meet people who aren't afraid to be extraordinary, people who work their asses off. These kinds of friends and mentors will inevitably rub off on you a little bit. 

16. Don't be the kind of person who always points out when a person in the room farted. This is both a literal and metaphorical lesson. 

17. You need to do it now. Not later. Now. “Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those "we'll go there next time" deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no "next time" because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.” - Bob Goff, Love Does

18. If there is a person that you see walking to and from every where you go every single day, you should become best friends with him or her. This happened. I'm really thankful. 

19. There is no correlation between volume of your voice and correctness. The winner of He Who Shouts The Loudest or She Who Uses the Most Obscure Metaphor doesn't get a prize. And if they did, it wouldn't be being right. 

20. Don't let someone else's wrong opinion of you make you cry too many tears. When I got my LSAT score back and it wasn't what I'd got in my practice tests, I actually cried. Not because I wasn't proud of myself or because I wasn't going to get into a good law school someday, but because there's a person who makes me feel dumb every time I talk to him, and I didn't want to have to deal with what he'd think. Isn't that horrible? If someone doesn't want to take the time to learn about how smart or INSERT OTHER TRAIT HERE you really are, then that's on them.  

21. I still refuse to believe "bad with names" is an actual thing. 

22. My parents are still really incredible, in every sense of the word. 

23. I am by no means wise. I am by every mean still learning. 

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"When you decide to drop everything that’s typical, all that is left is just a big idea about an even bigger God and a world that’s worn out from the way everyone else has been doing it. The world has been shouting over the noise of our programs that it doesn’t need more presidents or organizations, what it needs are more friends. If you are a sincere friend, folks around you will quickly understand that there’s no hidden agenda and nothing on the other side of the equals sign, just you." - Bob Goff, Love Does

21 things i've learned in the last year.

Last year for my birthday I created a blogpost titled "twenty things I've learned in twenty years" and I've found that in only one year, I've learned a ton. This has literally been a crazy year. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I've realized a lot of things about myself, my faith, and about others. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you TwentyONE things:

1. Grapefruit and Sweet Potatoes sucked when I was little. Now they're two of my favorite things ever. Perhaps this  is some sort of greater analogy for life itself. Perhaps it's not.
2. Complaining is a waste of energy. 
3. It's okay to not know.
4. Take responsibility. Pointing fingers is a waste of time and energy. I realize that if I look at a situation, chances are, somehow something is my fault. And even if it isn't, whatever happened, it already happened. So there's only moving forward and making it better.
5. Punctuality is fricken important. I find lateness to be a huge indicator of a million other things. One in particular is arriving on time to somewhere shows those relying on you that you care about them and whatever work is to be accomplished. I take someone's lateness personally.
6. I need to burn that list of pet peaves It's irrelevant and stupid-long.

7.  There is no reason to sit around and point out things people do wrong. I may have burned that pet peave list, but that's because this is the only thing on it. It's annoying, and I lose respect for you. You have no right to point out other peoples flaws. What good comes from that? What progress can be made? You can sit there and make fun of someones horrible use of a barbell, or you can teach them how to do a beautiful squat. That's a metaphor.
8. "I'm not good with names" is synonymous with "I don't give a shit" I am a strong believer in the importance of remembering names. I am very good with names, but it's not because I was born that way. It takes a TON of work, but it's worth it. I remember names because I take the time to remember names. I think people deserve the common courtesy of you remembering their name.
9. Anger is a waste of energy. Think about it. The fact that we sit there stirring about something someone did, or complaining about them to others.. that does more harm to us. The person we're mad at usually has no idea. Just forgive and let live. It's more for your sake than anything.
10. Don't settle. My boyfriend since Junior year of high school and I mutually ended last December for completely practical and meaningful reasons: we lived 1200 miles away; we were 20 years old. Despite being mutual, it was hard. It then took me a year to realize that guys who don't care about their grades or their health or others or their faith are not guys of interest. Especially because these mediocre men will never understand why someone would spend so much of their time devoted to their schoolwork or their volunteer time. Not settling also applies to far greater than just relationships. Seriously.
11. College is about thinking in new ways. My humor writing professor made a great point the other day about how students often complain "why do I need to take this course?" and "I am never going to use this course in my life" but that it's not about remembering the stuff you know, but rather learning how to make your mind more flexible and think in new ways.
12. Do something everyday that makes you uncomfortable. Do something that scares you.
13. Family gets more important the older I get. Every year, I start to appreciate Christmas and Thanksgiving more for reasons unrelated to presents and mashed potatoes (though still both quite enjoyable) It's a chance to hang out with my awesome family. When I was a teenager, I used to roll my eyes at the things that my family would do, and if I was given the choice between going out with my friends or staying in with my parents, friends would trump every time. Now, it's completely reversed. Most of the time that I go home, I neglect telling anyone because frankly I'd rather just hang out with my family and dogs.

14. Monotony sucks. Unless it's cheesecake, then by all means monotony rocks.
15. Old friends = nostalgia. There were things that happened that seemed to matter so much in high school and middle school. They seemed so betraying, so awful, and they ended some really good friendships. Now that we're over that absurdity, I've been able to reconnect with some of these friends, and it's such a blessing.
16. My parents are still incredible. My parents are so cool. Honest to blog.
17. The only place you can find what you're looking for is in yourself. 
18. Worse things have happened. Sometimes I stress about some of the most trivial things. Then I put it into perspective and it's like good god I'm a sissy.
19. Go outside. I love fresh air and hiking and camping and being outside. I would pick a backpacking trip through Tennessee over a resort on an island every single time. and It's soo good for you.
20. It always gets better. Even when everything feels like shit, I've found that I come out loving life more when I get through.
21. I am by no means wise; I am by every mean still learning.