Saturday, January 17, 2015

100 things cooler than my phone

I took this photo at the Mona Lisa while visiting the Louvre.

I just read about a new fear called nomophobia — the fear of losing your phone. A survey found that 77 percent of people aged 18-24 years old felt they had some sort of this fear. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I'm thankful for Google Maps that get me around the godforsaken pile of spaghetti they call roads in Pittsburgh and great Snapchats of unexplainable things to my best friends, but for the love of god 77 percent?

People are always on their phones. I once sat in a room trying to spend time with like six people from college I hadn't seen in months... and their idea of hanging out was sitting on their phones. I ended up leaving early and going on a sweet walk or something.

I made this list with 100 things that are cooler than my phone. I'm not sorry that at least 34 of them are food and beverages.

  1. Mustard
  2. The last green leaves holdin' on for dear life and holy chlorophyll on the trees in October
  3. Golden Retrievers
  4. Winning the lottery
  5. When icy roads get salted before you need to drive on them
  6. The sun peeking through the cloud all like "HEY! IT'S ME GOD!"
  7. How to Train Your Dragon
  8. How To Train Your Dragon 2
  9. Positive vibes
  10. Cloudless sky
  11. Cards Against Humanity
  12. Napping
  13. When the brakes on your car work
  14. When you drive down a huge hill after just filling up your Prius and your fuel economy reads 100 MPG and you're all like "I HAVE A CAR FROM THE FUTURE."
  15. Having a license plate with an otter on it
  16. The fact that paying for stranger's coffee is a thing that happens frequently
  17. The first 70 degree day in the spring
  18. Downton Abbey
  19. Hiking
  20. Feta cheese
  21. Penguins
  22. When your favorite book becomes a movie... and it's actually really good
  23. People who use the word whom correctly
  24. Red wine blends
  25. Board games 
  26. More specifically, word board games
  27. When I don't have to explain what a copywriter does
  28. When you run into another Ohio University Bobcat 1,000 miles away from Ohio
  29. Climbing on top of giant rocks and shouting profanity
  30. Having actual designated pajamas that you wear every night
  31. Curiosity
  32. National Public Radio
  33. Catching every green light on a long road
  34. How quickly poop stories escalate
  35. Emerald Green
  36. Using map my run after a jog and finding out you've gone longer than you thought
  37. Getting actual physical pieces of mail from friends
  38. French fries that still have a little bit of potato skin on them
  39. Giant pickles
  40. Books you can't put down
  41. The Moth radio hour
  42. Dog adoptions
  43. Amazon Prime
  44. Cold winter air filling your lungs on a run
  45. Finally peeing after having to hold it for way too long
  46. Genuine in person compliments
  47. Buffoonery
  48. The person who decided putting fruits like berries and apples on salads was a good idea
  49. Vanilla ice cream
  50. Velveeta shells and cheese
  51. Coffee naps
  52. Voting
  53. Getting quoted in the newspaper
  54. Hockey
  55. Fleece
  56. Not referring to college as the "best years of your life"
  57. Scarves
  58. Getting tomato juice on airplanes
  59. Waking up feeling good before your alarm clock goes off 
  60. Getting to Chipotle right before the lunch rush and not having to wait in line but then you look behind you and the line starts to form and you're all like "hell yeah, my timing is perfect."
  61. The actually well done news stories side of BuzzFeed
  62. Crayons
  63. The first sip of apple cider in the fall
  64. The crazy drugged-out person always talking to himself on the bus
  65. The insane amount of inspirational metaphors on The Biggest Loser
  66. Nurses
  67. The fact that Betty White just turned 93 and she's peaking
  68. Twice-baked potatoes
  69. The invention of ground turkey to replace ground beef
  70. Meaningful lyricism
  71. Marching bands
  72. The smell of a blown out match
  73. Pop culture references
  74. Glass ceiling crackers
  75. Cracker crackers
  76. Fresh new kicks
  77. An oddly trafficless commute
  78. Ab-hurting laughs
  79. Sharing dessert
  80. Gift cards
  81. Paint
  82. Seeing children at restaurants without tablets in their faces
  83. Being invited to your neighbor's 4th birthday party — especially when it's dinosaur themed
  84. Diving to ship wrecks 100 ft. under the sea
  85. Chapstick
  86. When two friends start dating and everybody's baffled they didn't think of how perfect they were together
  87. Smoothies
  88. S'mores
  89. Nachos
  90. Having a clean car in the middle of January
  91. Actually taking the time to understand other religions
  92. Family dinners
  93. No phones at the dinner table rules
  94. When you aren't the only one who isn't on her phone
  95. People who make a point to keep their phones away while they're driving
  96. Being able to confront humans when there's been a miscommunication or we're feeling confused or upset
  97. Looking people in the eyes
  98. Giving actual, physical hugs
  99. Having actual, real conversation
  100. Spending actual, physical time with a human being

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